Bravery vs. Courage?

What do y’all think is the difference between bravery and courage? I’ve heard different things from different places.

For me, bravery equals survival, holding shit together because you have no other choice. Standing up, because if you stop moving, you’ll fall. No heart to it, just grit.

Courage, for me, feels fuller. Whereas bravery is fighting because you have to, courage means there’s heart to it, you’re fighting for something, something more than just survival. I even think it has nothing to do with survival. It has to do with life, and love. That there are people behind you who are worth fighting for, who you’d protect fiercely because you love them. Even just yourself, loving yourself, but I still think that’s closer to bravery… okay, no, that probably counts as courage. Because courage is an extra push of wind to fill your sails. Hope, happiness, love. Moving forward is easier with that. (yes, I guess it still counts even if it’s just loving yourself.. love is the key part of it).

Which is why I hate it that everyone calls me brave.

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How to be Social?

I’m working on boundaries. I’m working really hard.

-I don’t want to. I don’t want to be the person who has to work hard. I don’t want to be the person who is called ‘brave’.. I want to have a normal life where I don’t have to be, where I’ve never had to be. Being called ‘brave’… just the undercurrent of that seems to be ‘I can see your life sucks hardcore, I’m glad it’s not me!’-

The ‘car’ is in the shop, I’m working so hard on it. I wish someone would look my way and take me for what I am, and what I’m trying to be.

I grew up with no boundaries. None. Not in a close knit family hug everyone way, but one in that they were so run over I didn’t know what they even were or that I was allowed to have them. I’m trying to learn that now. Further, I’m trying to learn what other people’s boundaries are. I’ve spent so long just careening everywhere, I didn’t know when or if I was crossing other peoples’. I try now, to listen really hard and straight lace myself. To not fuck it up.

See?

I grew up where, at school, no boundaries. I ate alone. At home it was loud too, the last wheel at the kitchen table every night. Not even my room was safe. I was told that basically, it was my parent’s house, I was just living in it. If my room got too dirty, dad had no problem going in and cleaning it to his standards. If one of my belongings didn’t match my mom’s standards, she gave it away.

I don’t know the etiquette of social media, either. (oh hey! This counts, right?) I want to have somewhat of a life online too, because in real life it always seems like I can’t do it. But I don’t know how to start.

Following old friends on facebook, for example. If they post interesting things, I want to say something, and contribute, even though I know that logically it’s a very, very bad idea. Not because they say mean things back. In fact most of the time they say nothing, and my contributions are dead air. It hurts to go onto the ‘acquaintances’ tab on facebook, because there’s the whole scroll, of what I’ve lost. So what can I post, and where, do you think?